Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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