I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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