You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
