This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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