You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
