Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
