...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
