You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize