Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
