How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
