Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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