i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
