Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.

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  (412): Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well. (1-412): Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel. http://tfl.nu/ymay
  Replies (5) Good night (574) Bad night (1966)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.

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  (303): So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper. http://tfl.nu/p0yj
  Replies (34) Good night (778) Bad night (5670) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!

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  (864): After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?! http://tfl.nu/q1jx
  Replies (17) Good night (1446) Bad night (3845) Order T-Shirt
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.

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  (339): I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion. http://tfl.nu/m237
  Replies (93) Good night (5176) Bad night (1960) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.

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  (973): she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery. http://tfl.nu/316x
  Replies (36) Good night (7334) Bad night (891) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.

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  (404): my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles. http://tfl.nu/wcsn
  Replies (9) Good night (3383) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza

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  (250): she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza http://tfl.nu/2a0o
  Replies (13) Good night (4688) Bad night (2003) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...

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  (812): Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this... http://tfl.nu/q2aq
  Replies (13) Good night (4135) Bad night (922) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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  (519): He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him? http://tfl.nu/ad81
  Replies (5) Good night (3129) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.

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  (757): So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real. http://tfl.nu/gd5o
  Replies (14) Good night (3655) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Nobody in the ambulance liked me...

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  (775): Nobody in the ambulance liked me... http://tfl.nu/5rji
  Replies (11) Good night (667) Bad night (1530) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.

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  (603): I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar. http://tfl.nu/vit3
  Replies (3) Good night (347) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.

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  (586): We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard. http://tfl.nu/e4oz
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (340)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm a pro at the other 9-5

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  (814): You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you. (215): I'm a pro at the other 9-5 http://tfl.nu/i1o5
  Replies (2) Good night (1084) Bad night (312)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.

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  (859): No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too. http://tfl.nu/lxn7
  Replies (9) Good night (690) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt

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