Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
