Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
