is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
