I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.