I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything