Your face is a jimmy john
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.