Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
