Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
