just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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