I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize