i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
