Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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