Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
