Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
