Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
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I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize