New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
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YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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