We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
