if you like me you must not know who I am
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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