you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
