i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
