five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
