I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
