I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
send nudes
from the living room?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
