Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize