no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize