Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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