I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.