TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
