im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.