If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
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Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So much rum. So many feels.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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