It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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