my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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