Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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