I think i peed on brittanys purse
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
