Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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