I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
