I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize