home. puking in laundry basket.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
