Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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