Who wears a wallet chain?!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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