Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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