i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
