I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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