oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
