God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
