so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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